It's been a while since I've stuck a wee yarn up on here so I thought we should honour the end of our time in New Zealand with a classic blog post.
So we've been here for almost 6 months now and time has flown. When we first arrived we thought the day would never come for us to leave but time's funny like that and now we're getting ready to embark on the next leg of our trip. After the initial blood curdling regret of leaving South America too early we have settled in to the kiwi way of life and made a home for ourselves in this funny shaped island. I got a job in Takapuna which is just outside Auckland and through this job we met some amazing people and made some life long friends. Without sounding too sentimental I don't know what we would have done without this crazy bunch. They opened up their arms and welcomed us in with complete generosity and many large drinks. That is the best part about travelling. Meeting people who restore your faith in human kindness.
Once you relax and open your eyes to New Zealand you can begin to appreciate it for what it is. A beautiful island with endless green landscapes and breathtaking coasts. You're spoiled for choice with top class surf spots and there's always “New Zealand's best pie shop” around every corner you turn. Ok I admit it's not drastically different from Scotland but I can't help but think that this is what Scotland would have been like a 100 years ago before oil, capitalism, Stewart Milne and the Scottish Government took a big steaming dump on it. New Zealand seems almost untouched in comparison. The people are proud of their scenery and haven't yet seemed to succumb to ruining it with ugly constructions for the sake of a quick buck. I guess we'll see what happens in the future.
Anyway enough of the heartfelt analysis suffice to say New Zealand's not as bad as we thought it was when we first arrived. If you're thinking about coming here but don't really know much about the place I decided to make a list of observations that may or may not be useful;
- Kiwis don't like to wear shoes. I don't know what this is about as I'm pretty sure they can afford them.
- If you're a fat girl you're pretty much guaranteed to hook up here. FACT.
- Racism is acceptable, especially if aimed at asians. I think they might just be jealous of the fact they have shoes.
- Every pie shop is “New Zealand's Best Pie Shop”. Even the petrol stations.
- Everybody is your brother.
- The ozone layer above NZ is no thicker than cling film stretched over a toilet seat. You burn faster than spit roasted boar so slap on that sun cream!
- There's a crap load of christians. It's like the 50s but everybody dresses better. Oh and the churches look like nightclubs. Maybe this is why there's so many, maybe they don't realise they're churches.
- It's ok to be rude, everybody does it!
- You don't have to tip. I think this falls under the rude umbrella.
- There are sharks everywhere but apparently they don't eat anybody. Likely story.
- A lot of the places sound a bit like swear words. Giggle.
- Rat tails are IN. I'm not sure why the memo from France during the early 90s didn't reach them.
- Everybody has a super nice car. The chavs ride classic motors like mustangs and ford cortinas.
- Burgers are massive and awesome. This could explain the fat birds.
- Everybody is SUPER FIT (apart from the fat birds).
- Cider is classy and beer is common.
- Everybody hates Aucklanders. I'm not sure why, we thought they seemed ok.
- The wild life is RAD. Apart from the man eating sharks.
- HELLS PIZZA. Pretty much the best.
So yeah I think that's all you really need to know before coming here. Screw you lonely planet guide book!
When we first came here we thought the kiwis were a funny wee bunch. Having lived here for a while now we have come to learn their ways and laugh at the ones who at first perplexed us. Everybody I worked with is a perfect example of a rad kiwi; super friendly, up for banter, proud of their country and unbelievably generous. Yeah there's a lot of rude douchebags but you get that anywhere in the world and I guess maybe it's not rudeness, just a culture difference.
Come to New Zealand if you want epic surf in amazing aqua blue sea. Come if you like eating meaty pies and chugging rich tasty ales. Come if you like trying to fit your arms around massive trees. Come if you're a total nerd and obsessed with Lord of the Rings. Come if you want to feel like an idiot trying to pronounce name on road maps. Don't come if you want to see a kiwi bird, you wont.
