Koh Samui & Koh Tao, Thailand.

Our original plan wasn't to go to Thailand, we were supposed to go to Japan but due to the earthquake and tsunami hitting and devastating Japan a few weeks before our intended arrival we had to re-plan our original route. This was done with a heavy heart as we really wanted to see Japan and help them out with our tourism but sadly our trip there will have to wait til another time.

So there we were in Melbourne, a couple weeks visa left and no real plans set in stone. We had two options; go home early (which we were already doing by three weeks for a wedding) or find an alternative option in Asia. It was a no brainer. Vietnam and Cambodia were our original focus as the idea of Thailand had never really appealed to me. From what I had heard it sounded completely over run with westerners and that western culture was creeping in. Our new flights were sorted out thanks to Kerry at STA (we owe all our limbs to for her incredible help) who had arranged a reroute to Singapore instead of Tokyo which was awesome as it's so cheap and easy to get around Asia from Singa. So with our flights booked it was just a matter of deciding where we'd be heading for. A late night binge of internet due to insomnia was to seal our fate. During the night googling I stumbled across a volunteer marine conservation programme on a small tropical island in the Gulf of Thailand. Knowing that Ryan loved diving it was perfect so we threw caution to the wind and booked our places hoping that the island would be as small and isolated from western culture as promoted.

Within a week we were scooting our way to Thailand landing in Koh Samui where we were to spend two nights before our placements on our “tropical island” (Koh Tao) began. Koh Samui is probably one of the better known islands in the gulf of Thailand as it's the biggest and most developed. That's if McDonalds, Tesco, fake clothes shops and English pubs are your idea of development. There's no harm in biting the bullet and absorbing yourself in the tacky lady boy, buckets of booze culture that Thailand has become so well known for. It is a great night out but just remember, there's more to Thailand than what the tourist industry has marketed it to be. Hire a scooter and you will find some awesome parts of Samui that represent a more realistic view of the Thai way of life. Some beautiful beaches, wee fishing towns and amazing temples are but a few things to explore and zipping around on a scooter is also a great way to shake off that Samsong bucket hangover. Just don't be a douche and pay to ride around on the backs of the mistreated and ill kept elephants that get promoted in a couple places on the island.

After a couple days of drinking Singha, eating Phad Thai, driving precariously around on a scooter and sweating our own body weight thanks to the high humidity and heat it was time for us to get the ferry across to Koh Tao. If you don't like sailing, don't go to Koh Tao. Unless that is you like watching a family of Chinese people vomiting throughout the entire journey due to the large size of waves and small size of the boat. It's also a bit disconcerting when you see sunk ship's masts sticking out the top of the water. Apart from all this we quite enjoyed the journey as it gives you an amazing view of Koh Phagnam and Koh Tao when you pull up to it. All these islands I should mention have become pretty famous thanks to 'The Beach' which was written whilst travelling around these islands and so making them the massive tourist attractions they are today. When you see these green, forest covered islands appearing on the horizon they fit the image that's been pumped in to your head by films and the media. They also reminded me a bit of Rio's green mountain landscape. Anyway point being, they are a strangely familiar yet spectacular site.

When we arrived in Koh Tao it was straight on to the back of a pick up truck which drove us, along with other people, to the dive school where we were to commence our volunteer work. We arrived, were briefed, shown our accommodation and were left to settle in. Our room was under £10 a night and was complete with a fan, toilet and shower. Cold sea water shower and no flushing toilet but it was so cheap you can't really complain about that and the cold showers were actually pretty nice in the high temperatures. For the next two weeks Ryan worked under the sea and I worked on land, both of us helping to make Koh Tao environmentally cleaner. Koh Tao is a beautiful island and we soon became really good friends with the crew on our volunteer team and these guys really made our stay amazing. Many laughs were had in the Sea Bar where we widdled away our nights on the beach and under the palm trees drinking Singhas, Mojitos and smoking shisha. Many more laughs were had in the Rasta bar but this was due to something else entirely. God bless the Rasta Bar and it's amazing bunch of barmen who never failed to keep us entertained with connect four, shithead, pizzas and home grown produce. Deisha also had the pleasure of inking a few of us up before our departure and I think myself, Ryan and Claire can honestly say we wouldn't have wanted anybody else to take a bamboo to our skin.

Our two weeks flew by on Koh Tao and we couldn't bare to think about leaving so we decided to extend our time there for another week. Well after a cheeky night out in Koh Samui to bid farewell to Claire and Rosie that is. Our last week on Thailand and last week of our year out was spent soaking up the sun, snorkelling, hanging out with great people and living the life some people can only dream of. It was the perfect way to spend our last week travelling and it made us realise how totally lucky we were to have experienced such a lifestyle. It did also of course make us dread heading back to the cold, industrial life of the UK but all good things must come to an end.

Leaving Koh Tao was an emotional experience. I'm not sure whether it was because we were leaving such good friends and a great way of life, were utterly hungover or because we knew this really was the end. Perhaps it was a bit of everything. The year had seemed to fly by and on the flight back to Singapore I felt a total sense of denial that it had even happened. It's like my brain wanted to forget the amazing year I had experienced in order to cope with the fact it was over. A very strange sensation and one that left me feeling pretty melancholy during the entire flight. Thankfully Ryan was his usual amazing self and had booked us in to the Raffles Hotel for our last night in Singapore. After living the year in shared dorms, on floors, in vans, in tents and in rooms with salt water showers we were now about to spend the night in one of the most famous, expensive and posh hotels in the world. It was utterly amazing and probably the best way to cheer us up and finish our year off. And to top it all off we had a flushing toilet!

Our last day was spent consuming more than an acceptable amount of Singapore Slings before catching our over night flight to London. We were walking out in to the rain at Aberdeen Airport before we knew it and we hadn't even touched down when we were already scheming our next trip away.

It has been a fricking amazing year, that's all we can really say to sum it up. We've seen and done so many awesome things, met so many awesome people and visited so many awesome places that it's hard to believe it all really happened. Without a doubt the best time of our lives was had and the best thing is knowing we're going to do it all again some day, once the bank balances have evened themselves out again. One thing's for sure, we arrived home just as lost and broke as we were when we started, and we wouldn't change that for the world.

Melbourne, Australia.

When we arrived in Melbourne we couldn't believe how cold it was. We'd spent so many months bumming around in shorts, vests and no shoes that the sudden twenty degree temperature was a shock to the system. Jeans, shoes and jumpers were now a staple and we spent the first couple of days adjusting to the weather. Luckily though we were staying with Ryan's great aunt and uncle, May and Eddie, who provided us with a nice warm welcome, room and plenty of hot meals to keep us toasty and happy.

Our first week in Melbourne was spent catching up with Ryan's family and checking out Melbourne city. Our Aussie friend Mike also lives in Melbourne so we spent our first weekend bush camping with him and a couple of mates. It may have pretty scary but we had a blast and enjoyed a proper Aussie BBQ as well as an exploding rock fire and some cheap but nice wine.

The next weekend the three of us went to the Rip Curl Bells Comp at Bells beach in Torquay. Much goon was consumed and we got to watch the women's quarters, semis and final which was just epic. It was a great way to spend the weekend kicking back with good people, good food and not so good but acceptable wine.

Melbourne is a pretty cool city. It's a lot more fun to explore than Sydney and has a slightly nicer buzz about it. You are spoiled for choice with awesome little eateries, pubs and restaurants. Take a wander down the back streets and alleys and you'll soon stumble across some real gems in the form of independent shops and cafes serving the most delicious food. Melbourne also has an incredibly vibrant arts scene with a scattering of galleries and venues waiting to spoil you with an abundance of art, music and live acts. I know I've said this before about Perth but Melbourne really does have something for everybody. The culture is so diverse that no matter what you feel like watching/eating/drinking you'll soon find something to devour.

If you're thinking of going to Australia and want to go somewhere exciting, a bit different but contemporary then go to Melbourne. You wont be disappointed.

We Like Whale Sharks. West Coast Australia.

Unlike the East Coast of Australia I'm just going to do one big clump blog for the West Coast. This is not because the West Coast is any less deserving, it's mainly because we followed a similar pattern in each destination; drive, arrive, swim and drink. It's amazing though how this never becomes dull and I have come to heavily admire the life of a beach bum, however swollen their livers may be.

Our West Coast adventure started by meeting Jenn and Cal in Perth where we stayed for a couple of nights to pick up our camper vans and to watch an Australia Football League match. For those of you who are not familiar with AFL, get familiar! It is possibly the only team sport I can bring myself to watch. I'm not going to get in to any detail as to why you should watch it, figure that our for yourself.

After Perth we began our epic journey and headed North up the coast. Our first stop was the Pinnacles. The Pinnacles, for those of you who don't know, are a variety of rock formations that span for a good few kilometres. This may sound pretty boring but they are actually quite interesting and it's good to get out and have a wander around them all, admiring their different shapes and sizes. This was also to be our first encounter of one of the most annoying species on our trip, flies. It's hard for me to describe how many flies there were without sounding melodramatic so all I will say is this; I felt like one of those orphans you see on TV with flies all over their face. This may sound a little bit harsh and yes I had food and access to clean water but I have found a new sympathy for these children and will be donating to oxfam as soon as I get home.

Ignoring the flies, which was pretty much impossible. Oh Jenn actually sneezed one out that's how bad it was. But yes ignoring the flies, next we headed towards Kalbarri National Park which in a nutshell had lots of pretty stunning views of the coastline. The sea really is beautiful in Australia and it's almost like every coast you go to beats the one before. Which seems rather impossible at the time. After Kalbarri we headed up towards Shark Bay and Monkey Mia where we got to see some pretty antisocial dolphins, grown men getting picked to feed to the before said dolphins and yet again more awesome scenery. I loved Monkey Mia as it had an awesome campsite right on the beach so you could basically roll out of your van and in to the sea. You can't ask for much more than that can you?

Next on our trip was Coral Bay where we arrived just in time for sunset and WOW what a sunset. Because we had been on the East for so long we hadn't seen a sunset on the beach (as the sun rises from the sea on the east) so it was a pretty awesome sight to behold. We spent a couple days chilling here and basking in the water where we saw a large sting ray and that's about all. On our last night we drank in the sunset by having a BBQ right on the beach which was pretty special to say the least.

After Coral Bay it was time to head to Exmouth which was to be as far as we were going to go on this trip. Exmouth is famous for it's whale shark diving and swimming tours. As soon as you drive in to the town this is made apparent with whale shark statues and drawings for as far as the eye can see. This isn't the prettiest wee town but it caters for what it's main demand is – diving tourism. We had a couple of days to wait before our whale shark charter so we spent a day or two chilling at the pool and snorkelling Ningaloo Reef from Turquoise Bay. Remember what I said about the beaches getting better and better? Well Turquoise Bay pretty much took the biscuit. This has to be one of the most beautiful places I have ever laid my eyes upon. When you lie on the beach and stare out at the crazily turquoise coloured water your eyes struggle to soak it all in, it's almost too perfect to compute. The snorkelling here is unbelievable, within a couple of minutes paddling you come across the most beautiful, vivid and lively corals just buzzing with sea life. We all saw some pretty amazing fish and it was pretty surreal having them swim around us so calmly. You can only hope that Ningaloo doesn't reach the same fate as the great barrier as that would be a great shame and loss but going by the amount of dead coral washed up and the amount of uneducated snorkelers getting completely unrestricted access to this natural paradise I fear it won't be long before tourism and humans take their toll on this delicate ecosystem.

After much lounging, turning in to prunes from excess water exposure and a few bad cases of sunburn it was finally time for our whale shark charter. Myself, Ryan and Jenn were beyond excited about this and getting up at 6am seemed less daunting than it should when we had the thought of a whale shark pressed on our minds. Whale Sharks are sharks, not whales, and are the biggest fish on the planet. They are pretty elusive and we don't know much about them but we do know the congregate in certain areas at certain times of the year, usually coinciding with coral spawning as they feed of this. Ningaloo, luckily for us, is one of the places in the world where whale sharks are regularly spotted and we had pretty much been promised a sighting of one of these amazing creatures. After a wee briefing and reef snorkel our charter boat set sail full speed ahead to go on the hunt for some whale sharks. The water around Ningaloo is so clear and sitting on the boat alone we saw giant turtles, spinner dolphins, black tip reef sharks and a bronze whaler shark. The latter of which is not the most comforting sight when you're about to jump in the water with ten other people and splash around. After half an hour or so our captain had caught word of a whale shark spotting and before we knew it we were in the water swimming along side on of these awesome creatures. They are MASSIVE, very beautiful and faster than they seem! We got to snorkel twice with three different sharks and each time was just as amazing as the first. If you ever get the chance to swim or dive with these sharks you really have to grab it because it will be one of the best things you ever do.

Whale Sharks were the highlight of our tour and the marking of the end being close. We packed up our things and headed back to Perth where we stayed a few more nights, ate some amazing food and got the opportunity to join a 6am beach walk and swim with my mum's friend Helen. The West Coast and Perth are pretty cool indeed. There's something for everybody and so much to explore! We were gutted not to make it down to Margaret River so that's a must for next time. Now it was time for us to hit up Melbourne and visit many friends and family for some very good times!

Maroochydore, East Coast Australia.

Not drastically different from Noosa, Maroochydore is a more industrial feeling town that sits slightly lower down on the east coast of Australia. Surf is yet again one of the locals main focuses and this is probably to do with the fact Maroochy boasts some of the best beaches on the coast. Like many other beaches on the east coast we have found the water temp warm, the sand white and clean and the presence of surf life savers high. Not to mention the sight of those lone paddle boarders who seem to appear suddenly in the line up as soon as your tempted to go for a paddle, a nationwide problem.

SUP's aside, Maroochy is yet another pleasant place to widdle away some time. We were pretty broke while we stayed there and constricted to a $20 a day budget so most activities we pursued were of the free kind. Going for walks, lazing on the beach, swimming in the sea and eyeing up the surf for a wee paddle were generally all we did during our week here. I should mention that the weather and humidity levels were extremely high during our stay so lethargy was a big problem. Our hostel, although nice, lacked any sort of air conditioning so our nights were sleepless and our days sleepy. When the weather is suffocating like that the best thing to do is to spend all day in the sea which really never gets boring, even if you are just sitting collecting sand and seashells in your bikini bottoms. Or you could do what we did and try and perfect the art of body surfing. Be warned you will scrape your body to bits and flash your norks to the entire beach as you surface realising your bikini top has been blasted off you, but it's good way to cool down and whittle away a good few hours. It really does never get boring, honestly.

I'm sure something else exciting must have happened while we were there but to be honest I have been a bit lazy on the blog front of late so my memory is a bit like candy floss. In a nutshell Maroochy is good and we'd go back if we were ever in the area again. How's that for a travel review?

Noosa, East Coast Oz.

We were looking forward to heading to Noosa as so many people we met had told us how epic it was. I personally liked the name so that was enough to sell it to me. Noosa's not too different to Byron or Yamba, I think it's a little bit bigger but it's spirit is the same; chilled out and beach orientated. We lucked out again with a super nice hostel so settled in on our first night and looked forward to not having to move our heavy bags for the next five nights.

In Noosa you're spoiled for choice with beaches and surf spots. We accidentally timed our stay during the surfing festival too so the water was full of longboarders waiting to fight over the scraps of sets coming in. We seem to be cursed when it comes to good conditions and arrived in Noosa for their worst week (according to the local surf shop man) all summer. The waves were ok for longboarders but not so fun with our shortboards, we were pretty much two of a handful of people not on fishes or longboards. Sunshine beach would have been a bit more promising had the winds not turned it in to a hectic mushy mess. So the first couple of days were spent chilling at our rad hostel and just cruising about town. The weather was nice and everybody in Noosa is super friendly so we coped fairly well despite the lack of the surf.

When we finally got in the water, it wasn't the best but it was good to get a paddle in the super warm water and ride some of the local waves. The beach and surf comp had been evacuated out the water the day after our arrival due to two great whites but thankfully we never came across them during our time in the water. I bet they're gutted about that one, we would have made two tasty snacks after munching on fish and chips.

One of our highlights of our time in Noosa had to be Australia Zoo. It was simply epic. It's more like a safari park than a zoo as all the animals are pretty much left to roam around in massive enclosures that are acres large (the zoo is over 72 acres in total and still expanding as they create a massive Africa land). Some animals aren't even enclosed and are left to freely roam around the park interacting with other animals and all the tourists. The fact that loads of the animals could easily escape but choose not to said a lot about the place. Highlights of the zoo had to be holding a baby Tasmanian devil, being able to walk around and feed kangaroos in their fields and getting to feed the giraffes. We weren't allowed too close to the giraffes as they are easily scared, skittish and can kick or lash out easily but it was still an awesome experience. It's probably the first zoo we've ever been to where we haven't felt sorry for the animals or felt that they are hard done by. On the contrary many were rescued animals or severely endangered species that were the result of a breeding programme.

We were a bit gutted that Steve Irwin wasn't there but he still has a massive beyond the grave presence, appearing on every animal information plaque, on all information leaflets and even plastered on the side of the bus you take the zoo. You even watch Stevo films on the one hour journey to and from the zoo. It's Stevo overload but I think he's a legend so it kept me amused throughout.

Noosa seemed to attract a lot of mellow people so we had good times just hanging around the hostel in between visits to the beach and food shop. There was also a sun melted ping pong table that we utilised during our ciders, just a shame there was no champagne on offer to indulge in cham-pong. When it came to our last night we begrudgingly packed up our bags, which by the way seem to be no lighter despite sending home about 20kg of clothes each. We woke up early and pulled our heavy shells on to our backs and trudged to the bus where we met our first arse of a greyhound driver and headed back down the coast to Maroochydore. Again I liked the name of this place so I had a good feeling some good times would be had. The theory had worked out so far.

Surfers Paradise, East Coast Oz.

Yeah, it's a dump.

Byron Bay, East Coast Oz.

Byron Bay. Where reprobates from around the world flock to smoke as many spliffs, munch as many mushrooms and live the lives of people way before their time. It's hard not to like Byron Bay. As soon as you arrive you feel at home except your home doesn't have quite as much tie dye or smell of inscent sticks 24/7.

We were staying at the Arts Factory which is pretty infamous in Byron for it's relaxed attitude and fondness for parties. The Factory was a hippy commune in the 70s which later became a music venue in the 80s and 90s before settling in as a hostel. It sits a bit out of town in a swamp land/forest and it's easy to imagine all those hippies many years ago living a pretty happy existence there. The main part of the hostel is open plan with no doors or partitions blocking your way to the outside. In the courtyard you have many chill out areas, hammocks and pathways leading around and between the swamp lake and forest campground. Water Dragons are everywhere basking in the sun and weird giant turkey like birds run around continually foraging for food. When you're sitting swinging in a hammock taking in your surroundings you feel completely content and can quite understand how so many people get sucked in to never leaving this place. Then you hear one of the many annoying American or British people that seem to congregate there like an Ibiza club 18-30 posse and you quickly feel like escaping to the pub.

But yeah Arts Factory aside Byron is a pretty nice place to spend some time. You have the main beach pretty much right in the centre of town and point breaks along the coast as well as more spots in nearby towns/places. The town itself is pretty mellow and you can walk or skate around just taking your surroundings in without feeling swamped by people or tourists. It's only really when the Greyhound bus appears and offloads all the backpackers or when everybody heads in to the crappy nightclubs do you feel the massive presence of tourism. We were tourists ourselves of course but a lot of the tourists who came to Byron had a different agenda to us.

On one day we knew the surf would be pomp in Byron so we missioned it through to Coolangatta to watch the Quiky Pro Finals which was just epic. To see the world's top surfers shred at Snapper Rock was just surreal and the blazing weather only made it all the much better. Coola's only an hour or so away from Byron but it was amazing to see how much better the surf was there, we were pretty gutted we didn't take our boards and left swearing to return one day.

Like many places in the world we've visited, we were sad to leave Byron. If it had mountains near by I would move there in an instance but I'm not sure if the constant stream of (mainly British) tourists would become annoying after a while. Either way we'll be gutted if we never go back so it's been added to our quickly growing list of places to return to in the future. Next was Surfers Paradise which we'd heard was a total dump but we decided we might as well see it while it was so close.

Yamba, East Coast Oz.

We only stayed 3 nights in Yamba and didn't really get up to much in this wee coastal town as the surf was pretty rubbish whilst we were there. Yamba is an awesome wee place though. Everybody there seems to have the same agenda and chilled out doesn't even begin to sum up the atmosphere.

We were also stoked with the hostel we stayed in there. The only one in town we didn't have much choice but we couldn't have asked for a better place to stay. It was a YHA which we usually steer clear of as they tend to be pretty clinical and over priced but the staff at the Yamba place couldn't have been nicer. They upgraded us to a private room at no extra cost and sold $2.50 beers to all residents so we were pretty happy with all that!

We were pretty sad to leave as we met some really cool people there, the town was awesome and the surf points looked to have real potential but the forecast for the following week was pretty poor so we decided to scoot up to Byron pronto after seeing their forecast was looking a little more promising.

What bridge? Sydney, Australia.

In typical fashion we'd booked a hostel right splat bang in the middle of Kings Cross, the red light district of the City. So our first glimpse of Sydney was it's seedy underbelly of alcoholics, strip joints and drug addicts which we had strangely missed the sight of in New Zealand. Our first night was spent wandering around Kings Cross and it's neighbouring areas trying to find our bearings and soak in a little bit of the city.

What we're quickly learning is that if you've seen one city, you've seen them all. Yeah one might be bigger, one might have a taller and more extravagant “sky tower” and one might have more money than the next, but really they're all the same format; rich shops in one area, arts quarter in another, harbour with fish market and a tourist viewing spot usually at a square or “plaza” of some sort. Throw in a couple of museums and subways (the takeaways) and there you have it, another city.

Sydney of course however has it's world famous and iconic bridge, so famous indeed that I never really knew it existed until I was standing looking at it. I know I'm such a philistine. No, bridges don't do it for me. They serve a purpose that I can appreciate but as far as demanding some sort of aesthetic praise they need to be a little more visually innovative than just your average bridge design. Sydney Opera House however is slightly more interesting. As you walk around it you can appreciate the time and effort that went in to creating this symbol of Sydney. I still don't think it would stand a chance in a fight with perhaps say Sagrada Familia but it's impressive to see none the less. We viewed it both during the day and night and would definitely recommend the night as a better time to soak it in all lit up with the dark oily water surrounding it. At night time you also have an amazing view of the city all lit up reflecting on the waves below, oh and of course the bridge has some lights on it too.

In an attempt to save money we decided to walk everywhere during our stay in Sydney. This is a great way to see the city but be prepared from some long stages between different locations. After our first day of walking back and forth we literally felt like our legs had bags of sands on the bottom and the final steps towards the hostel felt as if we were trying to reach Mount Everest base camp. It helped keep us semi fit though so we can't complain too much. For those who told us Sydney was expensive we would like to boast how we survived on a $20 daily budget between us. Now we're not saying this was pleasant but it's doable and wasn't too much of a struggle. We found a pretty cheap, nice supermarket that had fresh and reasonably priced food to cook with and if you fancy takeaway we found an awesome Mexican which did deals on tacos and burritos. There was also Pie Face where you could get a pie with mash and gravy for around $5! Yeah you kind of have to throw your healthy diet out the window to embrace the $20 a day budget but beggars can not be choosers.

One of the first things we noticed when we arrived in our hostel is how much heavier your average traveller is on this side of the world. Perhaps this is Sydney specific but we reckon it's a prime example of cheap eating and heavy drinking resulting in putting on those extra pounds (in some cases more severely than others). We witnessed a few people having piles of toast for breakfast, pasta for lunch AND dinner and we all know that's a disaster waiting to happen when you throw in a goon bag a night on top of that carby diet! We do our best to eat as healthy as possible but over here it is actually way more expensive to eat healthy, so if we look like that bird that turned in to a blueberry in Charlie and the chocolate factory by the end of Oz, don't be too surprised.

Ok to save me making this in to a large ranting blog that most of you have already stopped reading I am going to squish most information in to my favourite style of writing – A LIST! So below you will find what we found to be the best things to do and see in Sydney;




- Sydney Aquarium. Now we're not the biggest fans of animal captivity but they have a banging shark conservation area where you can see sharks moving in their eggs, baby sharks and also walk through a shark tunnel for a close encounter of experience. EPIC! Oh they have seahorses too.

- Sydney Maritime Museum. Yeah another shark exhibition but it was EPIC!

- White Rabbit Gallery. This is probably the best gallery I've ever been in. The staff are super friendly and the collection really interesting and more importantly fun. That word rarely gets used in relation to exhibitions or art for that matter.

- Sydney Fish Market. Fresh fish cooked for you on the spot and bring your own booze, do I really need to say any more?

- Sydney Opera House. Yeah you might as well ey?

- Giant Bats. Yes, giant bats. Walk through the city at dusk and you might be lucky enough to see the swarms of these beasts fly right above your head. Don't go in to the parks though, I'm sure we heard them kill and eat a baby.

- Chinatown. Just the same as all other Chinatown's really but you can score some cheapish food if your budgets higher than ours.

- Paddy's Market. The biggest collection of cheap shite you will ever see.

- Guzman y Gomez. The best cheap Mexican food you will eat in your life. And they speak to you in Spanish so you can feel like a total Tursista answering back in the ill learned Spanish you picked up in South America. Winner!

- Drink a Goon bag. Basically cheap nasty wine which apparently has no title (pinot etc.). It comes by the box, costs around ten bucks and is filtered through fish guts. A classic Aussie drink which tastes a bit like a glass of watery butter.

- Walk everywhere. It might seem a long way. It is. But it saves you a tonne and you see a lot more of the place.

- Stay in a hostel and feel thin even if you're not. Because nobody else is.

- Get a Greyhound bus pass. This doesn't strictly apply to just Sydney but it seems like the best way to travel around to us. You get bundle passes where you can travel up the entire east coast and hop and off as much as you want for 90 days, our pass cost $180. The buses are standard and the drivers have banter so it's a win, win situation really unless you're super unlucky or super picky.

So that's about it I think. Sydney in a nutshell. I'm sure there is much more things to see and do, Bondi for example. But we found 3 days enough for us to spend in a city and were pretty stoked to get on the over night bus and head up north to the coast away from all the hustle and bustle. Next on our list is Yamba, so mysterious it would seem that not even Sydney locals had heard of it. Don't they have maps in Sydney?

Pavlova anyone?

It's been a while since I've stuck a wee yarn up on here so I thought we should honour the end of our time in New Zealand with a classic blog post.

So we've been here for almost 6 months now and time has flown. When we first arrived we thought the day would never come for us to leave but time's funny like that and now we're getting ready to embark on the next leg of our trip. After the initial blood curdling regret of leaving South America too early we have settled in to the kiwi way of life and made a home for ourselves in this funny shaped island. I got a job in Takapuna which is just outside Auckland and through this job we met some amazing people and made some life long friends. Without sounding too sentimental I don't know what we would have done without this crazy bunch. They opened up their arms and welcomed us in with complete generosity and many large drinks. That is the best part about travelling. Meeting people who restore your faith in human kindness.

Once you relax and open your eyes to New Zealand you can begin to appreciate it for what it is. A beautiful island with endless green landscapes and breathtaking coasts. You're spoiled for choice with top class surf spots and there's always “New Zealand's best pie shop” around every corner you turn. Ok I admit it's not drastically different from Scotland but I can't help but think that this is what Scotland would have been like a 100 years ago before oil, capitalism, Stewart Milne and the Scottish Government took a big steaming dump on it. New Zealand seems almost untouched in comparison. The people are proud of their scenery and haven't yet seemed to succumb to ruining it with ugly constructions for the sake of a quick buck. I guess we'll see what happens in the future.

Anyway enough of the heartfelt analysis suffice to say New Zealand's not as bad as we thought it was when we first arrived. If you're thinking about coming here but don't really know much about the place I decided to make a list of observations that may or may not be useful;

- Kiwis don't like to wear shoes. I don't know what this is about as I'm pretty sure they can afford them.

- If you're a fat girl you're pretty much guaranteed to hook up here. FACT.

- Racism is acceptable, especially if aimed at asians. I think they might just be jealous of the fact they have shoes.

- Every pie shop is “New Zealand's Best Pie Shop”. Even the petrol stations.

- Everybody is your brother.

- The ozone layer above NZ is no thicker than cling film stretched over a toilet seat. You burn faster than spit roasted boar so slap on that sun cream!

- There's a crap load of christians. It's like the 50s but everybody dresses better. Oh and the churches look like nightclubs. Maybe this is why there's so many, maybe they don't realise they're churches.

- It's ok to be rude, everybody does it!

- You don't have to tip. I think this falls under the rude umbrella.

- There are sharks everywhere but apparently they don't eat anybody. Likely story.

- A lot of the places sound a bit like swear words. Giggle.

- Rat tails are IN. I'm not sure why the memo from France during the early 90s didn't reach them.

- Everybody has a super nice car. The chavs ride classic motors like mustangs and ford cortinas.

- Burgers are massive and awesome. This could explain the fat birds.

- Everybody is SUPER FIT (apart from the fat birds).

- Cider is classy and beer is common.

- Everybody hates Aucklanders. I'm not sure why, we thought they seemed ok.

- The wild life is RAD. Apart from the man eating sharks.

- HELLS PIZZA. Pretty much the best.


So yeah I think that's all you really need to know before coming here. Screw you lonely planet guide book!

When we first came here we thought the kiwis were a funny wee bunch. Having lived here for a while now we have come to learn their ways and laugh at the ones who at first perplexed us. Everybody I worked with is a perfect example of a rad kiwi; super friendly, up for banter, proud of their country and unbelievably generous. Yeah there's a lot of rude douchebags but you get that anywhere in the world and I guess maybe it's not rudeness, just a culture difference.

Come to New Zealand if you want epic surf in amazing aqua blue sea. Come if you like eating meaty pies and chugging rich tasty ales. Come if you like trying to fit your arms around massive trees. Come if you're a total nerd and obsessed with Lord of the Rings. Come if you want to feel like an idiot trying to pronounce name on road maps. Don't come if you want to see a kiwi bird, you wont.